


Osir laik gonakru (We are warriors)

by Sparklyfairymira (myonetruelove)



Series: Grounder Linctavia [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternative Universe - Grounders, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Deviates From Canon, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Grounder Octavia Blake, POV Octavia Blake, Prompt Fill, Protectiveness, Tension, Trigedasleng
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28174872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myonetruelove/pseuds/Sparklyfairymira
Summary: When Octavia finds herself making a trip with her ex turned enemy Lincoln to save a child, old feelings make themselves known.Or the Grounder AU where Lincoln and Octavia must pose as a married couple to protect Madi as they take her home.
Relationships: Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: Grounder Linctavia [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160300
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	Osir laik gonakru (We are warriors)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [munequita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/munequita/gifts).



> I'm back with another prompt fill for our favorite Linctavia prompter!!! This is a prompt fill for t100 writers for BLM initiative and we are still taking prompts. Please check out [our carrd here](t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co) to see what we're all about. Is there a New Years' story you want to read? A song you KNOW needs to be made into a video? Or want a fic trailer done for your fic (because I'm getting quite good at those lol). If you want to donate, but don't know what to prompt we've got you covered there too with our new prompt board.
> 
> If you're interested in seeing what else I'm writing and what my planned publication dates for that is, please check out my Tumblr post [HERE](https://sparklyfairymira.tumblr.com/post/632973715782729728/prompt-fic-updates). 
> 
> Also, please note that there is Trigedasleng in this fic. All translations that aren't immediately explained are in italics behind the words. Any English that is in italics is being spoken in Trigedasleng. Please let me know what you think! And thank you to Keely for beta reading this for me!!

Octavia swings her sword in the air, bringing it to a halt right at the neck of the person trailing her. “Chit du yu gaf in?” _What do you want?_

The person, obviously a man, reaches up to push back their hood as Octavia pushes her sword a little harder—best they not get any ideas.

_Lincoln._

Octavia wants to gasp, but she schools her face so that her expression is blank. She must not show her surprise—or her hurt. “Nodotaim ai as op, chit du yu gaf in?” _Again I ask, what do you want?_

“Octavia, please,” Lincoln sighs as he reaches up to push her sword down.

Octavia relents, letting the sword fall to her side. If he wants to speak the warrior language then so be it. “Lincoln,” she laces his name with as much venom that she can muster. She will not let him know how much his mere presence has shaken her. “What are you doing on Trikru land? I should kill you right now. You’re not welcome here and were told that you would be killed on sight.”

“I know.” He doesn’t say anything else which just pisses Octavia off. Why the fuck is he here? 

“So, why are you here?” she asks again, eyes narrowed. 

Lincoln looks away with a sigh before turning back to face her. “It wasn’t my choice.”

“Can you not answer a damn question?” she roars, already pissed at herself for letting her emotions show. She knows better—Indra has taught her better. She takes a deep breath and tries again, “Would you like to share why you’re here?”

Lincoln considers her for a moment before nodding. “Indra sent for me.”

“Indra sent for you?” Octavia laughs. “Do you want to try again? Because she didn’t say anything about sending for you.”

“Well, she did. Maybe she just didn’t think you needed to know.” Lincoln gives a short, sharp laugh before reaching into the pocket of his pants. He draws out a piece of paper, presenting it to her.

Octavia snatches the paper from his hand, shaking it open so that she can still keep her sword in hand. She keeps her eyes on him for a moment longer than necessary, eyes darting across his face as if to memorize it before glancing down at the note.

_Lincoln-_

_This has gone on long enough. Come home. She needs you._

_Indra_

Octavia’s eyes narrow as she read the last part because there are no doubts in her mind that Indra is talking about her. But this isn’t Indra’s place. She’s been doing just fine without Lincoln—or at least that’s what she tells herself. She crumbles the note, throwing it to the ground. “She’s wrong. I don’t need you.”

“I know.” Lincoln sighs. “But here I am regardless. So are you going to kill me?”

“I should,” she spits out, anger bleeding through her words. “You deserve to die. You are the enemy.”

A small noise behind her draws Octavia’s attention as she freezes, body rigid. She knows that Lincoln has heard it as he tenses as well. She’d scouted the area and there hadn’t been anyone so whoever or whatever made the noise has just come upon them. If it’s a person, they’ll know that she’s aware of their presence—there’s no way to hide her body’s reaction. 

“Azgeda,” Lincoln hisses, eyes landing on something over Octavia’s shoulder.

Octavia spins, bringing her sword up as she does so. Four men step from the trees, very clearly Azgeda. They shouldn’t be here. 

“Why are you here?” Octavia calls out in Trigedasleng, wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt—only because it is her job, not because she actually wants to. Maybe they have a valid reason for being on Trikru land and maybe they don’t, but it is her job to ask before killing them.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” one of the men asks with a sneer, answering in the warrior language.

Octavia lets out a cold laugh as she readies for the coming fight. She will not be the one dying. From the corner of her eye, she sees Lincoln step up beside her sword in hand. When he left Trikru for Flokru it might have been because he was tired of fighting, but she knows how talented he is with his sword. Azgeda had chosen the wrong people to stumble upon.

The four men rush at them with a battle cry and Octavia’s mind clears as she moves forward to meet them. She swings around, sword crossing with one of the men’s, dodging a blow from another. Her training and muscle memory kick in as she loses herself in the fight. 

It does not take long for her to take down the two men she is fighting and soon they lay at her feet dying. She turns to find Lincoln has taken one of the men down, but is still fighting the last one. She rushes over, running him through with her sword. 

Octavia wipes the blood from her face, grinning. “Glad to see the life of a pacifist hasn’t made you forget how to fight.” 

“Just because I don’t like to do something does not mean that I can’t do it well.” Lincoln raises his brows, opening his mouth to continue but snaps it shut when there is another noise from the woods.

Octavia lifts her sword once more, moving quickly and quietly toward the noise. It could be more warriors getting ready to ambush or it could be nothing, but it’s better to be prepared. She knows that Lincoln is behind her, but like herself, he makes little to no noise. 

The sound comes again, muffled but closer. Octavia moves around a tree, sword pointed before coming to a stop. Her eyes widen as she shoves her sword back in its sheath and drops to the ground. It is a child, gagged and bound. She pulls the gag from the child’s mouth before moving to the ropes binding her wrists.

_“Are you okay?”_ Octavia asks in Trigedasleng. The young girl is much too young to know the warrior language and she looks terrified as her eyes flash between Octavia and while Octavia doesn’t see any obvious injuries she can’t be sure. _“What is your name?”_

The young girl blinks up at Octavia for a moment before speaking, “Madi.”

_“Heya, Madi. I am Octavia from Trikru. This is Lincoln and he is from Floukru.”_ Octavia gestures to Lincoln. _“Who are your people?”_

Madi glances between the two adults, obviously still scared which Octavia understands, but she needs more information. Eventually Madi’s eyes land on Octavia once more. “Ai laik Madi kom Louwoda Kliron Kru.”

Octavia’s head jerks toward Lincoln, her eyes wide. Why was Azgeda after a child from Shadow Valley? It doesn’t make sense. She turns back to Madi, voice gentle as she speaks, _“Do you know why they took you?”_

Madi shakes her head, now refusing to meet Octavia’s eyes—which means that she knows why she was kidnapped but doesn’t want to tell them. There’s honestly only one reason that a kidnapped child would not want to explain why they were taken. 

_“Are you a nightblood?”_ Octavia asks, knowing she is correct when Madi’s eyes widen, but she refuses to answer. _“You are safe with us.”_ Even as she says the words Octavia knows that it’s unlikely that the young girl will believe that she’s safe—not after being kidnapped. But what else is she supposed to say? She turns to Lincoln, switching to English so that Madi won’t understand her. “I have to take her home.”

“No.” Lincoln shakes his head. “ _We_ have to take her home.”

Octavia narrows her eyes. She doesn’t want him to come with her—she doesn’t want him anywhere near her. Unfortunately, that isn’t really an option seeing as Indra had sent for him. And she will be having words with Indra once she returns home, but that’s a problem for another day. And if she’s honest it would be easier to travel with him than on her own with the child. 

Eventually, she sighs. “Fine.” She glances at Madi. “No one can know that she’s a nightblood. It’s best if we just say we’re her parents.”

“Parents?” Lincoln nods slowly. “That makes sense.” He turns to Madi, switching back to Trigedaslang. “ _We’re going to return you home, but to keep you safe no one can know that you’re a nightblood. The easiest way to keep you safe is if we pretend to be your mom and your dad.”_

Octavia watches the young girl’s face screw up as she considers the words that Lincoln has just said to her. She can’t be more than about six, but Octavia can see her thinking—trying to figure out if she can trust them and she likes Madi even more for it. It’s smart to be cautious, even without being kidnapped. 

“Sha,” Madi eventually replies and Octavia lets out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. 

This journey is going to be hard enough with Lincoln by her side—she can’t even begin to think what it would be like if Madi was fighting them the whole time. She turns to Lincoln and nods. “We should put some distance between us and them.” She jerks her head toward the slain Azgeda warriors. “And then camp for the night.”

Lincoln nods. “That’s a good call. I have a horse. That’ll make it easier on her. Let me go get it.”

Octavia watches him walk away, sighing to herself. This is going to be a long next few days.

* * *

The next morning they begin their journey to Shadow Valley. Madi is quiet and Octavia thinks she’s afraid to speak—afraid that she’ll say the wrong thing. Honestly, it’s easier for her that way. Especially since Lincoln is there. She’d always known that she’d have to see him again, but seeing him again is so much harder than she imagined. 

Octavia glances out of the corner of her eye at Lincoln who sticks close to Madi who rides atop his horse while still trying to give Octavia space—which she appreciates. She shakes her head, eyes scanning the treeline as her mind wanders back to the last time that she’d seen Lincoln.

* * *

**Two years ago**

“Are you serious right now?” Octavia stops and turns to face Lincoln, not sure that she’d heard him correctly.

Lincoln’s jaw is set as he gives a sharp nod. “I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t do it.”

Octavia laughs. “And what? And you think I should go with you? Give up my spot as second and just go live on a fucking boat?” 

“I love you, O,” Lincoln says quietly as he walks across their home, taking her hands into his. “I want you to come with me because I love you. But I would never expect you to come nor would I hold it against you.”

Octavia’s face is hard when she looks up at him. “You do realize that if you leave there will be a price on your head. You won’t be able to come back. That will be the end of you and me.” When he doesn’t say anything she yanks her hands from his. “Fine. Leave. See if I care.” 

Octavia fights the tears threatening to spill over as she turns her back on the man that she loves. How can he do this to her? To them? Love _is_ weakness. And yet, she’d let herself fall in love with this gentle giant and he wants her to give up her life. She can’t do it—she won’t do it. This is who she is. She is a warrior. That is all she’s ever been and all she’ll ever be. What the hell would she do on a ship full of pacifists? They’d kick her off the damn ship.

Octavia rests her hands on the table, her entire body tense. She feels more than hears Lincoln step behind her, but he doesn’t touch her—doesn’t say a word. And then he’s gone and she finally lets herself collapse to her knees as sobs wrack her body. She curls up right there on the floor and just lets herself cry. She doesn’t know how long she lies there, but it has to be hours when Bellamy finds her there, sweeping her into his arms and holding her while she cries herself to sleep. She gets this one day to lose herself in the pain and then it’s back to training and keeping their people safe. But she’s going to take this one day for herself.

* * *

Octavia shakes her head to clear her thoughts. She doesn’t want to remember that day—doesn’t want to remember the pain that had threatened to overwhelm her. When Lincoln had left her she’d fallen apart before forcing herself back together. She doesn’t know if she can survive another heartache like that which is why she’s so angry with Indra. Why would she send for Lincoln? 

What good will it do for him to show up? Octavia is sure that his stance on the fighting hasn’t changed so what good will this do? Except to break her again. Octavia shakes her head. No, she won’t let it break her again. She can’t let it break her again. 

“You okay?” Lincoln’s voice is quiet, but it still startles her.

Octavia glances at him to find that he’s much closer than he had been a few moments ago. “Of course, I’m fine.”

Lincoln looks like he doesn’t believe her, but he doesn’t say anything else as he drops away from her once again. He begins talking to Madi and Octavia forces herself not to listen. She needs to remain unfeeling and uncaring—it’s the only way she’s going to make it through the next few weeks. 

They’re nearing a Trikru village where they can hopefully stay the night. They’ve got at least a week of travel ahead of them, possibly more. And then of course there’s the return trip. She has a minimum of two weeks to spend in Lincoln’s company. At least for the first half of the trip, they have Madi to focus on. What will happen when they don’t have her as a buffer?

Octavia shakes her head. It doesn’t matter. That is a problem for another day. Today’s problem is finding them food and a place to stay the night. There are a handful of villages between here and Shadow Valley so they’ll be able to rely on the hospitality of her people a few nights of the journey, but even that isn’t for sure.

The sun is just beginning to set as they approach the village and Octavia can immediately tell that something is off—it’s too quiet. She holds up a hand that brings Lincoln and the horse carrying Madi to a stop. She turns to look at Lincoln and sees that he’s thinking the same thing. 

She moves over to him, whispering, “Get Madi away. I’ll go see what is going on.”

“But,” Lincoln hisses, but he’s cut off by the sound of someone calling out to them. 

“Chon ste der?” _Who’s there?_

They’ve been spotted, but the person calling out isn’t Trikru. Octavia shakes her head. The accent isn’t right for Trikru and if she has to guess she would say that it’s Azgeda. Why are there so many people from Azgeda here? It doesn’t make sense.

Octavia pulls her hood more securely over her head as she steps forward, calling out, “ai houmon, nomfir, en ai gaf gon the sheidgeda.” _My husband, daughter and I are looking for a place to stay for the night._

It takes a moment for them to respond. “No. Bants.” _Leave._

“Sha. Mochof.” _Yes. Thank you._

Octavia ducks her head, turning back to Lincoln and jerking her head. They need to get further away before they discuss their next move. She can’t leave the village in Azgeda’s hands, but she can’t allow Madi to be put into any more danger. Damn it.

Once they’re far enough away Octavia comes to a stop. “I need you to get her somewhere safe. I have to go back and see if anyone is still alive.”

“I’m not letting you go back there alone.” Lincoln laughs, shaking his head. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Octavia sighs. “You know what? Let’s not go there. Madi needs to be kept safe so one of us needs to stay with her. And let’s face it, even before you left us I was the better fighter—and I’ve always been better at sneaking than you.”

Lincoln opens his mouth to argue, but he knows that she’s right so what can he actually say? Turns out, nothing. He huffs, jaw set as he shakes his head. The displeasure is radiating off of him, but he has to know that she’s right. He’s just never been good at letting her risk her life. But that’s not his problem to have anymore, now is it?

“I’ll be back,” she says to him before turning to Madi and speaking to her in Trigedasleng, _“There are people in danger and I must go help them. Stay with Lincoln. He’ll keep you safe.”_

Madi blinks down at her before nodding. _“Be safe.”_

Octavia is oddly touched by the young girl’s words. She swings wide off the path that they’d just come back up before making her way back toward the village. Luckily it’s almost fully dark now and her dark clothing will also make her hard to spot—although her sword would give her away so she keeps that tucked away for now.

She moves swiftly, but quietly through the shadows of the forest before making her way up a tree so that she can have a better view. From her perch, she can see that the Azgeda warriors have gathered the villagers and while some of them appear to be bleeding she doesn’t think that they’ve killed anyone—yet. 

She sits in the tree for a few moments to try to be sure that the four warriors are all that is there, but no one else comes so she hops down and makes her way into the village. She’s cut down one of the warriors before they even know she’s there. The next one is down before he can even pull his sword. The third and fourth take a bit longer, one of them managing to slice into her side—but still, she takes them down. 

One of the villagers tries to attend to her wound, but she shrugs them off. “ _My family, I’ve left them. I must let them know that I am okay. We shall return.”_

Octavia doesn’t turn down the horse that is offered to her as her vision begins to blacken around the edges. She knows it’s dumb—she should let them patch her up, but she can’t let Madi and Lincoln worry about her any longer than necessary. So she rides, hand pressed into her side to ebb the flow of blood.

_“It’s safe now,”_ she calls out once they’re in sight but any other words are lost as she pulls the horse to a stop, head spinning as the blackness closes in. She has a moment to curse herself as she feels herself slipping from the horse before the blackness overtakes her.

* * *

Octavia blinks against the light, raising a hand to cover her eyes before stopping with a wince as she feels a pull at her side. She tries to sit up, letting out a moan. Where is she? What happened?

_“Lay still, child,”_ an older woman chides her as she pushes her flat onto her back. There’s movement behind the woman and she sees Lincoln for a moment and she relaxes. _“Your husband and child are fine. They brought you back to the village, but your injury was too much for the way you rode out of here.”_ She shakes her head and Octavia feels like a child being admonished—something she’s always hated.

“Lincoln?” Octavia licks her lips. She’s thirsty. So thirsty. She blinks up at Lincoln when he appears next to her, taking her hand in his. The worry is written all over his face and she knows that he’s not a good enough actor to fake the love in his eyes which causes her to inhale sharply. What right does he have to look at her like that? _He’d_ left her—not the other way around. She wants to rip her hand from his, but they’re supposed to be husband and wife and that wouldn’t look right. “Madi?”

“She’s fine,” Lincoln answers in English, squeezing her hand. “She’s outside playing with some children.” He cups her face in his hand. “I was worried.” He opens his mouth as if to continue, but seems to change his mind as he turns to the woman. _“Can I have a moment alone with my wife?”_

“Sha.” The woman nods before making her way from the room.

Lincoln turns back to her, frowning. “She speaks the warrior language so it’s not safe to speak in either language about anything of import,” he warns her. “She seems to be the only one in the village that speaks it so just be cautious.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Octavia waves him off. “We need to go.”

“Octavia, you’ve been unconscious for almost two days. We can’t just-”

“I’m sorry, did you just say two days?” Octavia demands.

Lincoln sighs, head dropping. “Yes. Two days. She wasn’t sure you were going to make it.”

Octavia shakes her head. “We need to leave now. We can’t stay here any longer. We need to get Madi home.”

“You need to recover. Madi will be fine waiting a few more days to get home,” Lincoln argues.

“No.” Octavia forces herself to sit up, ignoring the burning pain in her side. There are too many Azgedan warriors in Trikru lands for them to remain here any longer than necessary. She doesn’t know if they’re here for something other than Madi, but they need to return Madi, and then she needs to report the Azgeda warriors to Indra. There is no time to dally. “We need to go now.”

“Goddamn it, O!” Lincoln roars as he slams his fist into the wall. “You almost _died._ ”

Octavia shrugs. She can’t let him know what his words and actions are doing to her—weakening her willpower. “We must get Madi home and then I need to report to Indra. We’ve wasted too much time already. You should’ve taken Madi home while I was out.”

“There is no way that I was going to leave you when we didn’t know if you were going to live or die.” When Lincoln turns to face her again there are tears in her eyes. “Do you hate me so much? Think so little of me?”

Octavia feels herself weakening more—she doesn’t know if she can continue to hide what he’s doing to her. Not when the pain is making her woozy and he’s looking at her that way—like she’s the most important thing in the world. Which she thought she once was to him, but now she knows better. 

Octavia raises her chin defiantly, steeling her shoulders. “We’re leaving.” She struggles from the bed, pushing off his attempt to help. She doesn’t need him—not anymore. 

She pushes from the room to find the old woman steeping tea, turning to look at her with wide eyes. _“Why are you up? Back to bed.”_

“No.” Octavia doesn’t bother with Trigedasleng since she knows the woman speaks the warrior language. “We need to return home now. Thank you for your help, but we must be on our way.” She doesn’t wait for a response before she pushes open the door and walks outside. 

Octavia’s eyes flash around the village before landing on Madi. “Madi!” she yells.

The young girl’s head snaps up, eyes wide when they land on Octavia, and then she’s flying across the dirt and wrapping her arms around Octavia. “Nomon!”

Octavia smiles as she hugs Madi close. She knows she’s not the girl’s mom, but it’s still nice to know that she was worried. _“I’m okay. We’re going to leave now—go home.”_

_“Home?”_ Madi asks as she pulls back to look up at Octavia.

_“Yes, home.”_ Octavia nods, tensing when she hears Lincoln step up beside her.

“I think this is a bad idea, Octavia,” Lincoln hisses under his breath as he presses against her back, hand on her arm.

“I don’t care,” she returns before smiling at Madi again. _“Ready?”_

“Sha.” Madi links her hand in Octavia’s as Octavia pulls herself from Lincoln’s grip. 

Octavia knows that he’s not happy about it, but he’s just going to have to suck it up. He’s never been the boss of her—not even when they were together—so she doesn’t know why he thinks he can tell her what to do now. She guesses he’ll just have to get over it.

Madi leads her over to where Lincoln’s horse waits and when Octavia starts to help Madi onto the horse Lincoln is suddenly there, taking the brunt of Madi’s weight. Then he turns to Octavia, “Your turn.”

“I’m not-” she lets out a shriek as Lincoln chooses to ignore her, lifting her up and onto the horse. She settles behind Madi, wrapping her arm around her before turning to glare at Lincoln. He’s going to get an earful about this later, but for now, she’ll play her part as the dutiful wife.

* * *

It takes them almost a week to make it to Shadow Valley, mainly because Lincoln refuses to allow Octavia to walk or to keep going when she tries to hide her pain. It would piss her off a lot more if she didn’t know that he’s right. She’s trying to push herself too hard—but this is the way she’s always been. 

No one stops them when they ride into Shadow Valley, though some people do give them strange looks—it’s obvious that they’re not from this clan. 

_“Where is home?”_ Octavia asks Madi as the young girl practically vibrates in her excitement to be home. 

Madi points and Octavia leads the horse in that direction. She’ll be sad to see Madi go. She’s a sweet kid—hard-headed but who is she to judge anyone for that?

_“There! There!”_ Madi calls, pointing to a cabin. “Nomon! Nomon!”

Octavia pulls the horse to a stop, allowing Lincoln to help Madi down from the horse as a young blonde woman—much too young to be this child’s mother—runs from the house and sweeps Madi into her arms. “Madi?” The woman cries as she hugs her close. When her eyes land on Octavia and Lincoln they narrow. _“Go into the house, Madi.”_

_“But-”_

_“No buts. Go.”_ The woman stands slowly, eyes trained on them as she waits to hear the door shut behind Madi. _“Who are you?”_ Her voice is laced with distrust.

_“I am Octavia of Trikru, second to Indra.”_ Octavia bows to the woman. _“This is Lincoln of Floukru. We rescued Madi from a group of Azgeda warriors.”_

The woman eyes them for a moment before her face softens. “Thank you.” 

Octavia is shocked that this woman knows the warrior’s language which must be apparent on her face because the woman laughs before stepping forward and offering her arm, which Octavia grasps. 

“I am Clarke, the closest thing that Madi has to a mother.” She nods to Lincoln as she releases Octavia’s arm. “Thank you both for returning her to me. I was on a hunting trip and when I came back she was gone. My guess is that she went out when she wasn’t supposed to—as she often does. I will speak to her about it. I didn’t know if she was even alive.” She pauses. “Did you say Azgeda?”

Octavia nods. “There were many Azgeda warriors in Trikru land. As soon as we leave here I will be returning to report this to Indra.” She bites her lip, glancing at the cabin where she sees Madi peeking out the window. She lowers her voice. “I know that she is a nightblood. If you wish for her to remain hidden she cannot venture out on her own.”

“I know that,” Clarke snaps, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to make her understand the danger. I can’t be with her all the time.”

“Of course you can’t,” Lincoln says softly. “Do you have people that you trust with her?” At Clarke’s nod, he continues, “Until she learns someone must be with her at all times. Do you have a way to hide her when they come?”

“I do.” Clarke glances back at their cabin. “But don’t expect me to tell you where it is.”

“We don’t want to know.” Octavia shakes her head. “That girl of yours is special. Keep her safe.”

Clarke’s smile is soft as she nods. “I will do my very best.” She pauses. “You only have the one horse?”

Octavia nods. “I wasn’t traveling by horse when I found Lincoln and then Madi. We wanted to return her as soon as we could so we made one horse do.”

“I have a horse. Let me give it to you.” Clarke starts to walk away.

“No, we can’t-” Octavia starts, but she’s cut off by Clarke.

“You’ve returned the most precious things in the world to me. Please let me give you a horse to make your return both easier and faster,” Clarke begs her—which Octavia gets. No one wants to be indebted to another.

“Of course.” Octavia offers her a smile before watching her walk away. At least with a second horse, she’ll be able to get to Indra faster—and get away from Lincoln that much sooner. Because she is ready to be away from him. She’s not sure how much longer she can remain aloof as he tries to beg her for forgiveness—which is exactly what he’s been doing every night after Madi has fallen asleep. But she’s just not ready to forgive and forget—if she’s ever ready for that.

* * *

They ride hard and make it to Indra in just four days, both exhausted. Luckily for Octavia riding as hard as they did, there was little time for talking—which is kind of what she had in mind. Now she can report to Indra and hopefully make herself scarce until Lincoln is gone—after she gives Indra a piece of her mind that is.

_“Where is Indra?”_ she calls out before her feet have even hit the ground. She follows the pointed fingers into the meeting hall, pushing the door open loudly. _“Indra, we need to talk.”_

Indra’s head shoots up, taking in Octavia and Lincoln in the doorway before waving off the warriors she’d been speaking with. She leans back in her chair, waiting. “Go on, get it over with.”

Octavia wants to laugh—Indra thinks she’s about to yell at her about Lincoln. “Oh, we’ll talk about that later.” She shakes her head. “There was a young Louwoda Kliron nightblood kidnapped by Azgeda. We returned her, but we ran into many Azgeda warriors throughout our lands. They’re planning something.”

Indra sighs, leaning forward and pointing to the papers in front of her. “That’s what we were discussing. No one had anything concrete, but there have been rumors.” 

Octavia and Lincoln make their way over and listen to Indra catch them up. Finally Indra sighs. “I’m going to need you to go to Azgeda to see what’s going on. You can take Lincoln with you.”

“I’ll do no such thing,” Octavia roars as she stands up a bit too quickly, her stitches pulling. One hand goes to her side as she slams the other onto the table. “You should not be interfering in my life.”

Indra shrugs. “Gaia left to be a fleimkepa leaving you as the closest thing I have to a daughter. You were unhappy so I sent for what will make you happy.”

“Seriously Indra?” Octavia throws her hands in the air. “I will leave for Azgeda the day after tomorrow—alone.” Her eyes flash to Lincoln, making sure he is aware of just how unwelcome he is before spinning on her heel and heading for the door. 

“O?” Bellamy calls out as she crashes from the meeting hall.

“I’ll come see you later, big brother,” Octavia calls over her shoulder as she heads toward her home—the home that she once shared with Lincoln and refused to leave when he left her. Not because it reminded her of him—which it did—but because she refused to let his leaving take anything else from her. 

“Lincoln?” She hears Bellamy’s confusion and assumes that Lincoln is following her. Which if he is, it’s a big mistake. She is _not_ in the mood to deal with him right now. She wants a bath, a meal, and a drink—not necessarily in that order. 

She pushes open the door to her home, trying to slam it behind her but Lincoln’s hand is there. “Damn it, Lincoln. Leave me alone.”

“Look, we have this one conversation and then I’ll leave you alone, okay?” Lincoln begs her.

Octavia doesn’t want to have this conversation—not now, not ever—but she knows that he won’t leave her alone until they have it. With a sigh she lets her hand drop from the door and she steps further into the cabin. She sees his eyes moving around the space, probably realizing that she has changed nothing—not that it had anything to do with him. She just likes the way it was before. 

She drops into a chair and looks at him expectantly. “Well?”

Lincoln lets out a sharp bark of laughter. “Always right to the point, right?” He shakes his head before settling into the chair across from her. “I’m sorry that I hurt you.” He holds up a hand when she leans forward to interrupt him. “Just let me get this out.”

Octavia bites her lip. She’s not good at letting people just speak. She likes to make her opinions known. But the sooner she lets him talk the sooner this can be over. She gives him a sharp nod before leaning back in her chair again.

“I didn’t want to leave without you, I wanted you to come with me. I thought you would come with me.” He shakes his head. “Which I realized eventually was stupid and arrogant. You love the life of the warrior—being Indra’s second. It’s what you were built for and it was wrong for me to ask you to leave that. So I’m sorry.”

“Great then there’s nothing more to say,” Octavia says as she starts to stand, stopping when Lincoln’s hand lands on her arm. “Oh, you’re not done.”

Lincoln’s finger runs along the skin of her arm and she is barely able to conceal the shiver that runs up her spine. “I was planning to come back even before I got Indra’s letter. I missed you. I’ve never stopped loving you, O. I never wanted to stop loving you.”

“And if I’ve stopped loving you?” Octavia asks.

Lincoln considers her for a moment. “Well, have you?”

And isn’t that the biggest question of all? Has she stopped loving him? No, no she hasn’t. She’s never been able to even convince herself that she did. But does she want to tell him that? Does she want to give him another chance to hurt her? Does she want to be with him again? She just doesn’t know the answer to that.

“No, but that doesn’t change the fact that you hurt me and I don’t trust you.” Octavia pulls her arm from his grasp. “I need time.” She turns to head to her bedroom, calling over her shoulder. “We leave for Azgeda the day after tomorrow. Be ready at sunup. And Lincoln? Do me a favor and stay out of my way until then.” She glances back at him, laughing at the shock on his face.

She pushes open the door to her room, leaning against the door once it’s closed. She doesn’t know if they can be together again, but doesn’t she owe it to herself to find out? A trip to Azgeda should allow them the time to see if they even still fit. She just wishes she knew if that’s what she wants. Why does love have to be so complicated?


End file.
